September 01, 2022 at 12:00 am UTC
In its latest Infrastructure Report Card, the Gutter City of Civil Engineers (GCCE) gave the city’s infrastructure a D- , citing its crumbling public roads, high particulate air-quality, deteriorating bridges, and a thin grimy film on seemingly every surface.
The 2051 grade marked a downturn from 2047 when the GCCE rated the city’s infrastructure at a D+.
When the organization publishes its next report card in 2055, the Gutter will look for a significant improvement following the 1.2 trillion $GANG bipartisan infrastructure bill that the commission signed into law last November.
Much of the responsibility for implementing the new law falls under the jurisdiction of Secretary of Infrastructure Cam Caldwell. The 40-year-old rat and former Las Ratas mayor rose to his current position for taking a very strong stand in the city he oversaw; most notably instituting underground patrols to prevent the sewer denizens from inadvertently collapsing historical landmarks in their quest for expansion. This also caused controversy as many felt the tactic was far too extreme, resulting in a sharp spike in what the city reported as ‘peacekeeping events’ but what observers described as ‘a slaughter’. Caldwell spoke with the Gutter City Post field correspondent Money Plane Idol in an exclusive interview last month.
During the wide-ranging interview, Caldwell explained where the Gutter citizens will see their tax dollars working first.
“I think one of the first things you’re going to notice is accelerated work on roads and bridges,” Caldwell told the Post. “It’s not just the big, famous bridges like the Dirty South Drawbridge, this is thousands of bridges around the city even the ones made out of wooden planks or held up with old zip-ties.” He went on to say “This new Grade doesn’t reflect what we’re doing here. We’re off the record right? I’ll end your whole career if you talk about this D- grade. This is off the record, right?”. He was, in fact, not off the record.
MPI’s interview with Caldwell comes more than seven years after the Gutter Post last filed a major report on crumbling infrastructure across the Gutter City.
“Our infrastructure is on life support right now,” an anonymous city official told the post in 2047. This same official could not be located and therefore did not provide updated comments.
Mr Caldwell doesn’t even live in district, he just another money grubbing politician who only looks out for rats. The subway construction already started and he’s talking bridges. What about the rest of the residents?!? I’m amazed we got a D! Shame on you Mr Caldwell, shame on you.