You may think we are talking about how to keep your shit safe, but that’s not where this is going. With recent events in GutterCity, every resident is on edge. The frog poison water contamination already had Gutter Ave all the way down to the Low End clearing shelves and hoarding snacks. Skyjacking is on the rise, nobody walks past the grates anymore at night and even dogs are marking less territory. Now with news that the new $gang token is dropping anytime, there has never been a better time to sign up for training and immediate placement at any of the new Gutter Virtual Security Services companies. As a recent graduate, I’m making the most out of the chaos and bringing in some extra scratch with my partner Dabs. We work shifts for Labs and will be part of a giant task force set to protect the mint, transfer and claim vaults during the process. The current threat level is holding strong at “Stupid”, the highest level in recent memory and all signs point to a sudden and sustained spike in gang on gang violence and threats from outside the gang always target mint and claim rollouts, so the work will be steady. Oh and it also pays time and half with the hazard level where it is. We got bonuses for agreeing to work the short staffed graveyard shift at Gutter Memorial on weekends, so we got it made. This month I’ll make more working Virtual Security than I made with my mobile Gutter Medical Company all last year and that’s saying a lot. Hell, Dabs bought every gold chain at Guttier and has his eyes on a pair of purple Cat’Lacs, he calls the twins. This kind of loot may not last, so take advantage of the crumbs we’re dropping before every badass in town signs up. The latest intel coming in from on high says things could get ruff this weekend and Caturday’s stay wild anyway. Caturday’s have always had their own smell. The first tingle is always tuna oil that seems to collect in the puddles of Scrappadelic and then that punch of GutterWeed clogs up the throat, sweet and funky with a hint of whatever that skunk wiped his ass with, it’s definitely a sticky smell that stays with you. Lately, anytime the smoke clears for a minute, you can’t miss that sweet sweet smell of gutter juice cookin. This Caturday could see those smells drowned out by burning rubber and rhino spray if the reports are true. We can’t wait to get in there and yank some collars, so the gang can celebrate without any hotheads from other communities coming in to try and burn down the alleys and pool halls, thief the new token and stomp around fudding for a fight. Assuming we can keep the gutter residents from thiefing it all first. 😉 What’s found in the gutter, stays in the gutter and that true even for security. This Caturday marks the start of Gutter Szn and the best opportunity yet to make that move that pays and get started in Virtual Security. If you sign up, tell them O’Mallee and Dabs sent you. Lfg

@carried_awAi